Have you ever felt out of sync? You know what I mean, when you have all good intentions brimming within but also coupled with a lingering shadow of self-doubt. Try as you might it just doesn’t let go, rather it holds on like a smouldering ember, a loveless mass that encroaches and gathers momentum. You’ve no idea where it came from, it just appeared and it features largely and uncomfortably. It’s like a troublesome neighbour, a dark, hostile but invisible figure that you want to filter away but nothing seems to shake it off. As you re-affirm all the good in your life and try to focus with positivity, it gets louder and its presence feels all the more present, but it’s time for it to leave – and that’s the important point, it’s time is past, it no longer belongs in such a wonderful life, it belongs in the past, along with the ashes that once burned uncontrollably, that are now mere memories of a life spent tethered to someone else’s idea of life, of what often felt like a living death. The echoes of a past that left a once sad and lonely trail, but a realisation too now that such a past was full of learning and growth, and an awareness and a knowing that I am strong and bold, present and free, and filled with an intention to continue to grow, and to share, and to simply be me.
So to the shadow I say, “Thank you my lonely friend, your time no longer belongs to me, you too need to be set free, because I am moving forward with love in my heart and an intention to help others who walk a similar path, who want to walk a positive path with kindness, generosity and a happy spring in their step, who want to feel grateful for each beautiful blue sky and kind word, and who want to remember to look for what’s great and good all around them.”
To my open heart I say, “Thank you my beautiful and loyal friend, always there like a quiet whisper, smiling and shining brightly like a loving beacon beckoning me to follow you back home to safety. Steadfast amongst the mind chatter of illusion and self-defeat, ever glowing and quietly offering kind thoughts filled with wisdom, how patiently you waited for me to grasp your hand and grow with love and harmony. For now I know dear heart that you are me and I am you, and love and life binds us together and I am forever grateful that I AM ME, and that I truly see.“
© Elaine W Shaw 2014