Thoughts and Words are Powerful

have you been kind redder

Its surprising how many times we can be unkind to ourselves in any given day…

Think about it for a moment…Its a normal busy morning; you’re making a coffee and shouting to the kids to hurry up and come downstairs for breakfast because you’ve just caught sight of the clock, and realise that if you all don’t get a move on the children will be late for school and you’ll be late for work. The next thing you know, you’ve dropped the coffee jar and now there’s coffee all over the worktop and the floor. You sigh very loudly, and slam the jar on the counter as you look at all the mess. You then put your hand to your head…”What a ……,” you shout out loud to yourself. “How can you be so stupid? Look at the time…, you’re such an idiot.” blah, blah, blah…

You can picture the scenario, its a classic moment when you’re rushing and trying to do at least 10 jobs at once.

How many instances like the one above do you experience in a day, a week, a month, each year, every 10 years or so, in your lifetime, especially when you experience  a ‘bad day’ and nothing seems to go right?  Probably too many to count, or even remember. All that criticism, all that unkind thinking and all those unkind comments directed at yourself. Imagine the damage all that consistent negativity directed at someone would do…but that is what you are doing to yourself every time you speak that way to yourself. Or, when you look in the mirror and think something negative about yourself, or when you tell yourself that you can’t do something; that you are too old, not clever or smart enough, not pretty or attractive enough. You are projecting negative thinking towards yourself…You wouldn’t do that to someone else or to your friend, but we do that to ourselves, and just accept it, we think it does no harm, but it does. It chips away at your self-esteem, and it undermines your confidence. You begin to devalue yourself and subconsciously tell yourself that you are not worthy, that you don’t deserve, that you are not enough…it influences your decisions….and can prevent you from going after your dreams….It silently impacts your life….

So be kind to yourself today and everyday…say something nice to yourself instead, smile as you pass the mirror, tell yourself you look good, or that you like your hair or the top that you are wearing today. Make it a fun exercise, and challenge yourself to say more kind things to yourself each day, or buy yourself a bunch of flowers, a new book, or your favourite treat, and tell yourself you deserve it.

Let us know in the comments the ways that you have been kind to yourself.

If you liked this article you may find The Value of You interesting, and my blog post about How I Changed My Feelings About My Body .

‘Till Next Time

Elaine

©Elaine W Shaw 2016  All Rights Reserved

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2 thoughts on “Thoughts and Words are Powerful

    • ElaineWShaw says:

      Thank you for your comment, Rachel. As a working Mum myself I know how easy it is to find yourself feel guilty about working, and feeling that you are not doing enough to make life better for your family, when that is one of the reasons why you work! The most important thing is your love for your children and your family, but don’t forget YOU, you are important too. As women we often get caught up in day to day life, feeling that we have to take responsibility for everything, which leads us to feeling lost…We lose our sense of purpose, and then look for approval outside ourselves, which leads to a low self-esteem, because we constantly criticise ourselves and everything we do, and feel we are not enough. Nothing could be further from the truth, you are more than enough, your family loves you, your children love you, you have friends who love you dearly. Be kind to yourself in simple ways, it doesn’t have to be hard work or onerous. Simple little gestures to recognise what a good job you are doing. Concentrate and focus your thoughts on what went well each day, how good your meal tasted, how lovely it is when your children smile and how good it feels when they hug you.
      A little fun exercise that you can even do with the children each night or at tea-time when you are sat together…Say something good about your day (if doing it with the children you can each say something) even if its just that the sun was shining or the rain fed the flowers in the garden, then 3 things that help make life feel good, e.g I love that we have a great car that takes us to school and work each day, and that takes us wherever we want to go, I love seeing you smile, it makes me smile too, I love my comfy sofa …You could even jot them onto post-its and add to them over the week. Do this for at least a week or so and you will begin to feel better about yourself and your life, appreciating the small things and the things that we may initially feel are ‘mundane’ helps us change our view of our world and lifts our spirits and our mood, and you may just find some of life’s magic.

      Take Care, and remember, You Are Amazing

      Elaine

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